I try to think really hard about my childhood and I can barely remember things. It is kind of scary to think that those years of my life are almost completely wiped from my memory. I just wish I could remember. If only I had a pensive like in Harry Potter, then the memories could live forever. I remember odd things that aren't really important. When I was in 4th grade, I remember sitting on the floor in the library watching the inauguration of Clinton. I had a splinter in my thumb and the whole time I was worried about removing it. Weird that I would remember that. Hmm.
I am constantly surrounded by teenagers at the theatre. I hear about their boyfriend/girlfriend troubles or how this one hates that one now but after a week they are friends again. Sometimes they say the silliest things and I laugh. To be a teenager again..ahh. I loved being a teenager. Seriously. If a genie came back and told me he would make me a teenager again in 2012, I would probably decline. Now, if I could time travel back to when I was a teenager, I would willingly do it all over again. It was one of the best times of my life, especially my senior year of high school.
I knew how to work the system and skip class as much as I wanted, so I did. I took summer school after my junior year just so I could take more electives my senior year. I know, I was weird. I filled my schedule with choir, theatre, and band and was the vice president and sweet heart of student government. Not to mention, I played soccer on the varsity team all while working part time. I was a busy teenager. I think being involved like that in high school made me the person that I am today. The last day of school, I remember sitting in the choir room and playing mario kart on the super nintendo with all the guys, little did I know, a month later, I would hang out with them almost every day.
The day I graduated it rained
horribly and the streets flooded. My last name was a W so I
sat through hundreds of people receiving their diplomas, I felt like I
was living a weird dream. Afterwards, the band played the school song
and all the seniors played their instruments for the last time. We
cried together and then I left. I didn't wait around to talk to any of my other friends. I didn't even look for my parents. I walked straight to the
stang, cranked the car, and drove around. Afterwards, my mom, dad, and
brother and I went and ate at the same old
Mexican restaurant that my mothers parents took her after she graduated
from high school. I don't even remember what I ate. I just remember my
parents asking where I went after I played in the band, my answer was,
to be alone. Sometimes in life when monumental accomplishments happen,
it is nice to be alone and think about it. I drove around mindlessly for 20 minutes and just thought. When we got home I wanted to
watch the graduation tape because it was all a blur. My
mother taped a girl that didn't even look like me the whole time. I was
angry and took a nap.
I often think about the summer after I graduated. I had not one worry in the world. I hung out with "the guys" every weekend, I was the only girl that really hung out with them. I had a crazy crush on one of them and hanging out was a way for us to flirt with each other. That summer was the first time I kissed and kissed and kissed and kissed a boy. All we ever did was makeout but that was ok, because we liked each other. We were in love. Well teenager love, it is much different than adult love, it is more
like a puppy love or an infatuation. A teenage love, especially your first
love, is something a person never forgets. Everything was fine and dandy but his mom thought I was a bad influence. Me? I dont think so! I was a prude, a major square. I didn't break rules, I just liked to stay out late. I remember she once said, "All Courtney wants to do is settle down and have kids." I still laugh that she thought that. It shows how ignorant parents can be about their children's teenage girlfriend/boyfriend. Getting married at 17 was the last thing I wanted and I still don't want kids at age 28.
My group of guy friends always had something going on. We fished, we drove to Mexico and back, and even drove 70 mph over road cones going down a huge bridge where we ended up breaking down and having one of their sisters pick us up. We played in the woods, watched countless movies, and played mini golf. We even went to crazy houses made from glass coke bottles in the woods (not kidding). One of them played guitar and we formed a rock band and did gigs at a local coffee shop. The summer of 2001 was probably one of the best summers of my life. I was free and felt like a grown up, although in retrospect I was nowhere close to being grown. I constantly cruised around in the mustang my dad bought for graduation. I didn't have to answer to anyone and I had no real responsibility. I quit my job because I didn't feel like going to work, I was better than work. That summer...I was a free spirit and nothing but fun filled my calendar. I wildly spent my graduation money on food and games.
Sometimes when I drive around in the summer and the wind blows a certain way or I hear a song that was popular back in 2001, I think of those memories. I think of all the fun times I had with those people. Sure, we were just kids having a little fun but those people really changed my life.
I turned 18 on August 25, 2001 and my world completely changed. All the people younger than me went back to high school and I was in the real world. I had to find another job and ended up moving out of my parents house months later. September 11th happened and I didn't feel safe anymore. Even though I was/am in Texas, there was mass panic everywhere. You could see the fear in peoples eyes in the grocery store as they shopped. I remember some older people saying they were scared to go to the hospital because of bombings and such. My first boyfriend and I dated for a little over a year and then broke up over aol instant messenger. I think his exact words were, "You're stressing me out and I am done." Seriously, it was the crappiest way to ever be broken up with. I remember he called minutes afterwards and asked if i was ok and I said yeah, perfectly fine. He asked if I was upset and I said no, should I be? It was some of the best acting I ever did. I cried and
cried for weeks and then my grandfather died in a horrible accident. I was seriously depressed. I remember walking in the rain on
campus crying and soaking wet. A friend stopped
me and asked me if I was ok, I said no, "I am raining on the inside and
the outside." I was just a little (a lot) dramatic. He later told me that the way I acted hurt him and he wanted to call me a week later and take it back but his friends wouldn't let me. Then, he rebounded with a girl I hated. One of his friends had a crush on me and I soaked it up as much as possible. I was jealous but knew I had to get over it. My best friend and I moved into an apartment and I focused my time on college theatre. Two months later, I found myself falling in love again and ended up marrying the guitar player cutie pie that I met when I was so depressed, so there was a happy ending after all.
Anyway. I am not sure how I got on this tangent. I was just reminiscing about the best free spirited summer of my life. I tell teenagers to not worry about all the stupid people in high school because when you are my age (28) you won't hardly remember them. Life is too short to worry about the small things that will most likely be forgotten with age.